A blog about nothing and everything but mostly just squee.This is not spoiler free blog. I try to tag but I am not perfect!
oh shit you guys an au where no rocks fall and nobody dies
and steve and peggy get married because they’re stupidly in love with each other and bucky sort of half-accidentally moves in and will not admit to being stupidly in love with them too
obviously steve is also stupidly in love with bucky still and peggy is considering it but she might just opt for “this is my husband steven and his husband james” because wow, bucky, issues, but anyway
so one day they realize peggy is pregnant and peggy stares at steve and steve stares at peggy and bucky wanders by and goes ???? and peggy says I’m knocked up how did I get knocked up and steve is like I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU GOT KNOCKED UP EITHER SWEETHEART
and bucky’s just like, wow you guys if you don’t know how she got knocked up i genuinely don’t know what to tell you
and peggy is like shut up barnes i mean we used rubbers and i used the rhythm method and bucky’s like daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn son
and steve is like HOW DO BABY and peggy was like I DON’T KNOW I HAD A NANNY AND A NURSERY MAID and they stare at each other in blank panic and then they both turn their heads and look at bucky. bucky loves babies. bucky is already staring creepily at peggy’s midriff like he can xray vision through to see the baby and telepathically assure it it is the most wonderful baby ever
james, says peggy sweetly, dear james, good james, you lamb
oh jesus, says bucky dragging his eyes reluctantly from her torso
bucky pal buddy bestie, says steve, because he and peggy are creepily telepathic on a level only slightly below steve and bucky, how would you like to be a godfather and by that we actually mean PEGGY POPS IT OUT AND BASICALLY YOU’RE DAD1
and bucky’s like I should be at least 500,000% more reluctant to do this but omg babby steve and peggy babby!!1 and this would be great except someone’s like CAPTAIN AMERICA BABBY!!! and things happen and bucky kills many lots assholes and rescues baby and steve and peggy hurt many lots people and rescue bucky and baby and they live harmoniously in some sort of triangle configuration wherein bucky is basically mr mom and enjoys his life the most of anybody forever
and now I’m really sad this is never going to happen BYE
Sam taking both Steve’s dick and Nat’s strap-on as he perches between them, panting and writhing, just letting Steve hold his hips and bounce him because he can’t make himself move it hurts so good.
Sam waking up with Nat spooning him and Steve’s face tucked up under his chin, arms and legs tangled all over him, unable to get up to piss unless he wants to be the jerk that wakes everyone before the alarm.
Sam having to buy the big expensive packs of stringcheese so there’s a few left for his nieces on the weekends since Nat will eat like eight of them in a day and there’s no way in hell he’s point it out.
Sam having to do breathing exercises to keep from coming when Nat and Steve kiss around his dick, lips and tongues sliding around and over the head of his dick, and fucking losing it if they both look up at him while they’re doing it.
Sam being the one to do and fold the laundry, because Nat likes to perch on the dryer and watch him while they talk and Steve bleached Sam’s fourth favorite pair of jeans so he’s not allowed near any of it. (Sam also knows this was done on purpose.)
Sam breaking down on bad days and Nat and Steve both learning when to offer cuddles and comfort and when to let him bring himself out of it. Nat kissing his neck and whispering in his ear. Steve gathering him in his arms. Them both hovering anxiously in other rooms of the house while Sam works alone on his laptop.
Sam coming home to the smell of fresh caulking so he’s immediately alarmed and a little pissed because what did you shits break today???? and finding Nat and Steve in paint-splattered clothes and construction hats, having remodeled his bathroom and put in a new huge tub because baths are Sam’s favorite.
Sam always winning the big “what should we watch” arguments by reminding them it’s his damn tv.
Sam being loved by Steve and Natasha yay.
when someone pulls up a receipt of my fave being problematic